Monday, March 11, 2013

Leaving a Trail, Never Staying Back



When my resurrection is
there in the journey without an end
I leave bits and pieces of myself,
For your privilege,
for you to remember me.
Or is it because, I want you to remember me?
Don't I secretly hope
those bits will connect our minds for eternity?

A broken bangle and a ear ring button
on the dressing table
My red bright bindi on your mirror
The stain of my kajal on the wet towel
hanging on your balcony railing
And a pair of socks, pink, on the carpet
Because I love socks
I have a collection of them
in multiple colors,
One of my oddities which you had come to accept.


If you look close you will see a crumbled note
under the pillow and one on the sofa
 from that night when
I scribbled in the torch light
Yes, because I can't stop scribbling
even on those nights
When all I want to do is to smile at you.
even on those nights
 when I know that  I have to be up before you
And walk out with tears in my eyes.

If you had your way you would have stopped me,
You would give anything to not let me go,
the heat of your body and the kindness of your words
to comfort my trembling mind.
You know that to go on this journey is to get injured
you have felt my limbs
and know how weak they are
You know my fall is not so far
Still, you don't stop me.

For you like me know
that my resurrection is in this journey
So you close your eyes and pretend to be asleep
while I make my noiseless escape
You just say a silent prayer
And I travel further down the dark alley
On my way, I meet many like you
I leave bits of me with all of them
My journey ends when 
there are no more bits to drop
and no more pieces to share

When  all that remains is the trail I leave behind.....

-Aparna


Days of Nothing


Those days,
When all my pain,
 is not enough for tears,
and all my joy,
is not enough for a smile.
When all my anger,
is not enough for a shriek,
and all my music,
is not enough for a dance.
and finally,
When all my words,
do not make a poem
and all my strength,
will not let me flee!
Those days,
What shall I call them?
-Aparna